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  We waited in complete silence. A few minutes later, a willowy woman with a messy bun and pink scrubs walked in, smiling. “Mina?” She looked from Nas to me, unsure of which woman was her patient.

  “I’m Mina,” I said, sitting up straight and raising my hand like a schoolgirl.

  Her smile widened as she sat. “Hi, Mina. I’m Dr. Henley. My brother called ahead. Told me you needed an IUD.” She paused then asked, “May I ask why you’ve chosen the IUD over the implant?”

  Wait…Pox was her brother?

  They looked nothing alike.

  I wrung my hands together in nervousness and told her, “Lasts longer.”

  She nodded in understanding then started to type on the open computer screen. “We don’t have them on hand, of course.” My face fell, but she went on. “I wouldn’t worry about that. I’ll hand you a script and send you next door. The pharmacist always has a ton of them.” She sighed lightly. “I have to tell you, Mina. I don’t like doing these rush jobs. In a normal scenario, we’d do an internal exam, a pap smear, and test for STDs before we inserted an IUD.” She glanced at me kindly and asked, “I don’t suppose you’d come back in a week?”

  My voice weak, I spoke quietly. “I’d prefer not to. Doctors make me nervous.”

  She nodded in sympathy. “Okay then.” Her face compassionate, she spoke gently as she told me. “I can’t do much without doing an internal first.”

  I knew it was coming. Of course she’d have to look down there. It was where the darn thing was going.

  Dr. Henley led me behind a curtained area, instructing me to remove my jeans and panties before pulling the sheet over my lower half. I did as ordered and found it easier knowing that Nas was only a yell away.

  The exam was short and relatively painless and, satisfied with the results, Dr. Henley let me dress, leaving a glass of water and two painkillers on the tray table. I swallowed them down, stepped out, and she scribbled on a piece of paper before handing it to me. “Go on next door and ask for Marianne. She’ll have the order filled in a few minutes.”

  Marianne was a stout woman who looked as though she didn’t smile a whole lot. As Dr. Henley advised, my order was filled within minutes, and soon after that, I was back on the exam table, my lower half naked and covered with a sheet.

  Nas stayed on the other side of the curtain. Dr. Henley and I were soon joined by Jane, the nurse who originally showed me to the exam room. Jane held my hand tight and told me to breathe deep as I was opened up with a lubed plastic speculum. Dr. Henley warned me when my cervix would clench on its own, causing my stomach to cramp painfully. She was honest and open, and it seemed as though she knew what she was talking about. The pain didn’t last long. In fact, the birth control device was inserted in less than five minutes, and as soon as the speculum was removed, the pain receded to nothing.

  “That’s it?” I asked, stunned at how good I felt after having something inserted into my uterus.

  Dr. Henley pulled the sheet down to cover me. “That’s it,” she stated. “Don’t be fooled. You’ll get some wicked cramps later on as the device settles. I’d advise you to take ibuprofen every four hours, even if you think you won’t need it. It’ll help the inflammation.”

  She and Jane left me to dress, giving me a pad to wear. I dressed quickly and stepped out to join the others.

  Nas looked up. “You all suited up, sunshine? You know what they say. No glove, no love.”

  I glowered at her. “Shut up, Nas.”

  She grinned. “Oh, hush now. You love me.”

  I did love Nas. She was fast becoming my best friend. It didn’t matter that she was my only female friend. She was supportive and funny and listened to me. I was thankful for her friendship.

  Dr. Henley warned, “You’ve got the glove, but no love for a week though, okay? Not without a condom.”

  My face turned beet red. “I don’t even have a boyfriend. There will be no love.” I turned to Nas. “There will be no love.”

  Dr. Henley smiled. “I’ll have the results of you pap smear and STD test by Monday. I’ll have Jane call. Also, I’ll have you booked in for a follow up in five weeks. I expect you to keep a diary in that time of how often you’re spotting.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she must have seen it coming, because she raised a hand and cut me off. “It’s standard. I have to make sure the device has settled well.” She threw a fear tactic out there. “If it doesn’t settle well, it can become embedded in your uterus and you’ll have to get it cut out. Come to the checkup, Mina.”

  Her fear tactic worked, damn her. I agreed to the appointment.

  From the moment Nas and I left the clinic, I felt better than I had in a long time, and something told me things would only get better.

  I should have listened to Dr. Henley, but being the badass I was, I didn’t.

  Her advice not followed came back to haunt me as I almost doubled over from pain, a sharp stabbing sensation throbbing throughout my belly. I thought I was going to be ill from the pain alone.

  Holding onto the railing of the stairs, I made my way down slowly, one stair at a time. I found Lev in the kitchen. The second he saw me, he dropped the newspaper he was reading and shot up out of his chair. “Mina, what’s wrong?”

  I groaned, clutching my stomach. “I need painkillers. Ibuprofen.”

  He helped me sit before searching through the medicine cabinet. “I only have acetaminophen,” he said as he brought it over with a glass of water.

  I shook my head. “No. Ibuprofen. It needs to be anti-inflammatory.”

  “What’s wrong?” he asked again, but I ignored him.

  “Call Nas.” I grimaced as another cramp took hold, causing me to grit my teeth.

  He did, and she arrived soon after holding a white box of tablets in her hands. She shook her head at me. “Didn’t listen to the doc, huh?”

  “What doc?” asked Lev.

  I moaned in agony, my forehead beginning to bead with sweat, doubling over. “Do you have the meds or not?”

  She sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I got ‘em right here.” She placed the box down. I opened it with shaking hands and threw two into my mouth, swallowing them dry. Nas clicked her tongue at me. “Look at you? You didn’t listen, and now you’re useless. You’re not working tonight. Go to bed.”

  But Lev was stuck on, “What doc?”

  Nas took pity on me and lied to her brother. “It’s Mina’s time of the month. I took her to a clinic to see if they could do anything about the cramping.”

  I was hoping he’d shy away like most men. I didn’t like lying to him. Instead, he knelt by my side and placed a hand on my knee. “Why didn’t you say so?”

  “It’s embarrassing,” I croaked, massaging my temples in a slow, firm circular motion like my mom used to whenever I had a headache. It never felt the same after she’d gone. It only felt better when someone else did it to you.

  He shook his head, frowning at me. “No, it isn’t. You’re a woman, Mina. You can’t help menstruating. It’s what women do.” Then he shocked me further. “Do you need me to go to the store for you?”

  He was willing to go to the store and buy me feminine hygiene products like it was no big deal.

  Lev Leokov was the definition of the word man. He’d earned it. He certainly acted like one. Not like those pussy boys who shied away from the word ‘period.’

  The thing was, I had used the only pad I’d been given and I needed more, as the spotting had been quite heavy. I looked to Nas. “Do you have any pads?”

  She shook her head. “Sorry, doll. I’m a tampon girl.”

  Miserable, I turned to Lev and nodded. “I need pads.”

  His eyes softened. “Okay.” If I didn’t know better, he seemed pleased that I let him be of some help to me. “Tell me what you need.”

  I prattled off the single item I needed and Lev helped me to bed before leaving. He returned a half-hour later with the box of pads. He didn’t seem squeamish by the situation. Rather, knowing wh
at I needed, he lay next to me, holding my hand until I fell asleep.

  Later that night, I woke for a single moment, long enough to feel Lev’s warm body slide in next to me. He worked gently to pull me in close and tuck me into the space that was made for me and me alone. He rested his chin atop my head and sighed softly.

  No longer in pain, and in the place I felt most at home, I found my smile before sleep took me once more.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Mina

  Waking up alone but refreshed and well rested, I dressed quickly and rushed downstairs to have breakfast with Lev. Only when I got to the kitchen, there was no one there, the newspaper neatly folded in the center of the table.

  Silence in this house didn’t always mean it was empty, but today, it seemed it was.

  That made me sad. I wanted to wake every morning by greeting Lev, putting my arms around him, and taking warmth from him as his giant frame enveloped me.

  The time on the oven read eight twenty-three. Too early for Lev to have gone for his workout.

  Where is he?

  I wouldn’t be that girl.

  I wouldn’t text him. No sir-ee.

  I would go have breakfast with Nas instead, and try to fish out information from her.

  It was a nice day. The walk did me good, now that I wasn’t having phantom labor pains. The air was cool and the sun was warm. I smiled up into the sky.

  Making my way up the steps, I rang the bell and waited.

  And waited.

  And waited some more.

  Lifting my hand, I knocked. “Come on, Nas. Get up!”

  She answered the door, blinking away sleep, her face bunched and hair all over the place, wearing a flimsy nightie. “What the fuck, dude?”

  I beamed at her, and not waiting for an invitation, I slid by her. “I’m hungry and I need coffee.”

  Her expression dampened. I turned to her and stared, beginning slowly, “I actually came here to find out where he’d gone.”

  She shrugged, yawning. “I don’t know. I’m not his keeper.”

  I bit the inside of my lip, my nose bunching. “Yeah,” I muttered, sounding disappointed. “Me either.”

  Nas rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Go wait in the kitchen. Let me excuse myself from my company.”

  As she walked back up the stairs, I called out a little too loudly. “Morning, Vik!”

  I turned on the coffee pot and poured two mugs full as Nas came back into the kitchen, her hair tied in a high ponytail. She’d dressed in sweat pants and a loose sweater, with last night’s makeup still smudged under her eyes.

  Handing her a mug, I smiled slyly. “Have fun with your company last night?”

  She glared at me over the rim of her mug before lifting her nose. “He snores.”

  Just then, a low, gravelly voice came from the open doorway. “She lies. And yes, we had fun. We always have fun. Played Yahtzee until just after dawn.” Vik grinned, his eyelids low from sleep. He wore his dress pants and not a stitch more. I was too amused to check out his taut and gorgeous tattooed body.

  I snorted, almost choking on my coffee. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

  He winked at me before doing something that surprised me.

  He made his way behind Nas’s chair, placed his hands on her shoulders, leaned in, and pressed his lips to the space just under her ear. She closed her eyes and smiled happily. He whispered something into Nastasia’s ear and her face turned soft. She lifted a hand to cup his cheek tenderly before turning her face to press a soft kiss to his lips.

  These were not the actions of two people who merely slept together. These were the actions of two people very much in love. My mind went back to the moment Nas told me that Viktor didn’t love her back. Was she mental? It was clear as crystal, written all over his face. In his smile. The way he looked at her. Viktor Nikulin was head-over-heels for Nastasia Leokov. And he loved her in a way that most women dreamed of.

  My heart smiled for the two of them. They had something special. Even if Nas didn’t know it yet.

  Vik poured a cup of coffee then moved around the table, stopping to kiss my head before seating himself at the head of the table. “You feeling better, wifey?”

  I smiled at his nickname for me. It was clearly designed to make Nas jealous, and from the way her nose bunched, it was working. “I’m feeling much better, thank you. Damn virus,” I lied.

  Vik’s brow rose. “I thought it was period pain?”

  I blinked at him before turning to Nas. “Is no man in this family squeamish?” I fluttered my lashes at Vik. “I was trying to protect your delicate sensibilities.”

  He sipped his coffee. “That’s too many big words for morning, Mina.”

  “So,” I dug. “Where’s Lev?”

  Vik blinked at me, eyeing me curiously. “What’s it to you?”

  My cheeks heated. “Nothing,” I uttered, dipping my chin.

  Vik grinned, the shit stirrer. “Okay, then if it’s nothing to you, he’s gone to have breakfast with Anika.”

  “What?” My head shot up, eyes blazing, unsure of whether he was lying to get a rise out of me.

  “Oh,” Nas muttered, suddenly remembering. “Yeah, he is.” She shook her head then cringed, “Sorry. I forgot.”

  Why was he having breakfast with Anika? Why wasn’t he having breakfast with me? More importantly, why didn’t he tell me?

  Because it’s none of your business!

  My mind’s statement hurt, because it was true. I wanted Lev to be my business. I wanted him to think about me when he made decisions, like having breakfast with a tall, gorgeous redhead who clearly wanted him for herself.

  I shrank down in my chair and Vik’s smile fell. “You’re upset.”

  “I’m not upset,” I blatantly lied, my cool tone giving me away. “Lev can do what he wants. He doesn’t owe me explanations.”

  Nas tilted her head. “What’s going on with you and my brother?”

  I shrugged, unsure about how to answer. “I don’t know. One second, he’s all protective and caring and giving me necklaces, and the next, he’s off hiding inside himself. I thought we had a thing, but it’s like he’s afraid to talk to me.”

  Vik stretched. “He is afraid to talk to you. Well, not you, but people in general.”

  Nas shushed him, but I reached out for all the information I could get. “What do you mean? He’s so confident at the club.” I was confused. “Why would he be scared to talk to me?”

  Vik lightly nudged Nastasia’s arm. “Will you talk to your girl? She thinks she’s the issue. Give her a break, Nas.”

  She looked down at the table and muttered a low, “We don’t talk about it.”

  Vik shook his head before leaning across the table to me and asking, “You ever wonder why Lev locks his bedroom door at night?”

  I nodded enthusiastically. “All the time.”

  Nas spoke quietly, “Enough.”

  Vik ignored her. “He does it to protect himself. He doesn’t feel safe at night, in the dark.” He shook his head in disgust. “He was just a little boy.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Nas got up, walking over to the kitchen sink, trying to get away from the conversation.

  “She used to beat him at night, after everyone had gone to sleep,” Vik explained.

  My heart broke, raced, and wept all at the same time for Lev, the little boy. Part of me wanted to know, but the other part wanted to let sleeping dogs lie. “Who beat him?”

  Nas, looking out the kitchen window, whispered a dead, “My mother. She hated him.”

  Vik sneered. “Fuck, I hated that bitch. Always knew those smiles a’hers were fake.”

  “How could she?” I spoke quietly through my thick throat. “How could she?” I turned to Nas. “Why?”

  Nas lowered her head, shaking it. She couldn’t speak. She looked about ready to lose it.

  Vik told the story. “No one knows how long she’d been doing it. The o
nly reason we found out was because Lev stopped talking.” He pinned me with a stare. “Just stopped talking, for a whole year. He was nine.” He sighed in frustration. “Now, if that were any other kid, you’d think it was weird, right?”

  “Yes,” I agreed immediately.

  “Not with Lev. Their pops, Anton, was a good man. He loved all of his kids equally. Was one of the good guys. He married into a good family, and Lev’s mother, Talya, was a nice woman. Until Lev was born.”

  “Why would having Lev change that?” I pried.

  Vik smiled at the thought of his friend. “Lev is different.”

  That he was.

  “Anyone with half a brain could see that he didn’t think like a kid. It’s almost as if he was born with the mind of an adult. He was so serious. Barely laughed. He was smart as a whip. Didn’t have any friends, apart from Anika and me. You could have hit him with a hammer, and he wouldn’t show pain. Something about his mind doesn’t work the way yours and mine do. He doesn’t show emotion often, and when he does, it’s mostly anger that’s built up past breaking point.”

  Vik swallowed hard. “There was an incident. Lev’s dog was run over. He didn’t understand why the dog was gone. I mean, he knew she was dead, but the emotional build up was too much for him.” Vik laid it on me, hard. “They found him in his room, rocking back and forth, beating his head against the wall. The wall was covered in blood. He was covered in blood. Had to go to the emergency room to get his head stitched up.”

  “Oh, my God.” I covered my mouth with my hands, my stomach rolling in revolt.

  “It was after that incident that Talya got weird. She’d curl her lip whenever Anton hugged Lev or showed him any attention. She ignored Lev when he spoke. She showered all of her attention on Nas, forgetting about her sons. And Lev started to pull away. He stopped looking people in the eye. Stopped talking to people. Didn’t leave his room. That kind of thing. The one person who was meant to love him treated him like he was invisible, so he became invisible.” Vik turned to Nas. “What no one knew was that Lev would talk to Nas. He didn’t say much, but she was the only person he spoke to in that time.”