Raw Page 5

  Something in what I just said makes him react. His lips curl and his eyes turn cruel. “’Bout fucking time.”

  Huh?

  My mind shouts at me to think about what he just said, but when his hands slide from my waist, strokes back and then down over my ass, all thought is lost. Leaning my head back, I moan quietly as he palms my ass, none too gently.

  His hands on my derriere, he pulls me back into his body. He demands, “Look at me.” So I do. His brown eyes harsh, he asks, “Who do you want? Say it.”

  It takes me a second too long to answer. I know this because the hard swat that stings my ass jolts me so much that my body stiffens. I flush the brightest of reds.

  What the hell? That hurt!

  My eyes narrow at his, and just as I open my mouth to tell him my thoughts, one hand squeezes my ass so hard it aches, while the other tangles in my hair, fisting it hard enough to make me wince. Lowering his scowling face to mine til we’re almost nose-to-nose, I see it.

  Challenge.

  He’s daring me to say something. Anything. Daring me with nothing but a look.

  My mind claps at my stupidity, clearly unimpressed.

  This is what he warned me about. These are the terms I accepted.

  Holding his gaze only a moment longer, I move my eyes down to his throat in defeat. What he does next surprises me.

  Leaning forward, he places his lips at the top my head for a long moment before he softly kisses my hair and mutters, “Knew you’d be perfect. Fuckin’ knew it.”

  My nakedness suddenly making me feel vulnerable, I pull my arms up between us and cover my breasts with my hands. Twitch kisses my head again. “You cold?”

  I shake my head, feeling honesty is the way to go. He is, after all, a sociopath. I’d like to have his trust. He prods, his husky voice hushed, “You feeling uncomfortable?”

  I immediately nod. Squeezing my ass once more, he places his lips at the shell of my ear. “Good. Get used to it. Because I’m going to do bad things to you.”

  And just like that, any warmth or safety I was feeling flies out the window.

  I can’t help but wonder what I’ve got myself in to.

  Alexa’s face turns fearful.

  She should be scared. If I didn’t know this woman as well as I do, I’d turn her over my knee for letting a complete stranger into her home.

  But that’s just the thing. I’m not a stranger. And although she doesn’t understand it yet, she feels what I feel when we’re together.

  Homecoming.

  Which is a shame for her, because although I know her, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on her. Quite the contrary.

  I need to punish her.

  You need her. Just her. Nothing else.

  Ignoring my mind’s voice, I look at my prey. She’s the reason I am the way I am.

  It’s all her fault.

  And she’s going to pay.

  I should know better by now. I’ve dealt with bad people in my life before. I know the look Twitch wears, and although I don’t know where this is going, I know one thing…

  This will end badly for me.

  But it seems I’m a glutton for punishment, because I won’t stop what’s happening here.

  My mind wanders.

  If I ask him to stop now, would he?

  The need to test the waters is too strong for me to stop myself. “Stop, Twitch. Please, stop.”

  His hand stills on my ass. His face contorts in anger, eyes narrowing to slits. “I swear to you, Lexi…” He trails off, and I know I’ve made a huge mistake. I’m going to be punished for this.

  When his lips twitch, I know he’s caught on, and all I can think is I’m screwed. He sounds amused when he says, “Oh Lexi. What are you doin’, babe? You think I was joking when I said I wouldn’t stop? You testing me, baby?”

  Honesty. Be honest.

  Sometimes I wish I had a rewind button for my mouth. I try to fix what I’m doing a really good job at wrecking. “I’m sorry. I just needed to know for sure.”

  When he runs his hand up and down my back, I start to relax. I can’t get a read on this guy. He goes from cold to hot, then down to warm in seconds. He’s completely unpredictable. And that makes me uneasy.

  Still fully clothed with his erection out, he continues to rub my back as he explains, “I told you you’re not being tested, Alexa.” Leaning forward, he whispers into my ear, “All you need to do for this to go well…is give in.”

  That sounds easy enough. In theory. Right?

  No. Not right. Not in the slightest.

  When you come from a home like I did and get out of said home, you hold onto your freewill with both hands. Because sometimes, it’s all you got. And there is security in knowing you have a choice. So even though I get Twitch and his need to dominate, I don’t know if giving in is something I can do so easily. Giving in to a person I trust though…

  You trust him. You don’t know why…but you do.

  A sudden rush of humiliation slides down my body. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Quiet as a mouse, I avoid his eyes and beg, “Don’t hurt me, Twitch. Please don’t hurt me.”

  The hand rubbing my back stops, thus ending the small amount of comfort I’d been feeling. His husky voice demands, “Undress me, girl.”

  My heart thumps out of my chest.

  This is really happening. I’m really going to let him do things to me. Bad things.

  I seal my fate when I grip the bottom of his tee tightly and gently lift it over his head. It drops to the floor with a dull whoosh, and I move my thumbs into the sides of his jeans. Lifting my eyes, I look directly into his.

  He doesn’t give anything away. His face remains devoid. Expressionless.

  Slowly pulling down his pants, they get stuck around his ankles. Damn. I forgot his shoes. Hoping I haven’t fucked up for the thirty-eighth time tonight, I look up at him wide-eyed. But he silently lets me know it’s okay when he shoots me a small smile. Kneeling by his feet, I undo his laces and remove his shoes and socks before working his jeans all the way off.

  Well.

  That was awkward.

  For me.

  He extends a hand to me; I take his offering and he helps me stand. Then he does something I don’t expect. He pulls me forward, takes my arms, and wraps them around his waist. His arms circle my body. And there we stand, naked, in a firm and intense hug. I want to listen to his heartbeat. I need proof that he has one. A heart, that is. Turning my head to the side, I rest the side of my forehead on his chest, close my eyes, and sigh deep, squeezing his waist.

  Just as I begin to feel I was worrying about nothing, his arms squeeze me tight. Really tight. Too damn tight. I’m constricted and feeling bound, so I tense. He says softly, “Don’t fight me. I can make this good for both of us.”

  I silently agree, but my body has other plans. I begin to struggle in his arms and he chuckles. “Or fight. Whatever. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I need to, Alexa. It’s your choice.”

  I continue my struggle and hiss out through gritted teeth, “There is no choice. I have no choice. I can’t move to make a fucking choice!” Clearly, I’m panicked.

  Gripping me harder than he should, he orders, “Look at me.”

  And I don’t want to; I’m feeling indignant. And suddenly bitter. I don’t want my right to choose to be taken away.

  I don’t want to be weak.

  Without an answer, Twitch releases one of his arms, and before I know it…

  Thwack!

  My ass throbs. That was even harder than last time! My mouth opens before I have a chance to think about what I’m doing. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop!”

  Thwack!

  The throbbing on my ass cheek feels like it’s on fire. But I keep going, “I don’t want to do this anymore! Stop, Twitch. I’ve had enough of this. I don’t want to be a weak little whore for you! We’re done!”

  What I’ve just said makes his brow furrow. Deep. He loosens his hold on me completely, and when his arms fall away, I feel a tremendous loss that I can’t explain.

  Stepping away from me, he stares me down a moment before he says slowly but firmly, “I don’t take weak women to bed. Never.” The air in the hall stills. And it’s frightening. “Not ever.”

  I want him to explain what he means, but all I can do is wrap my arms around myself, covering my breasts. Finding some courage I must have stored deep inside of me, I open my mouth to ask what he means, but nothing comes out. Mouth gaping, I shut my trap and come to terms with the fact that this isn’t going to happen.

  My chest aches.

  Eyeing Twitch and his tall, solid body, I feel like crying.

  What a damn shame.

  A few minutes pass and we stand there still. When I risk looking up at him, his lip curves up at the side, giving him one of the most beautiful crooked smiles I’ve ever seen. Stepping forward, he wraps an arm loosely around my waist. “See? You’re not weak.” As I look up at him, he clarifies, “A weak woman would’ve apologized by now. And I know you want this like I want this, but you still didn’t apologize for saying something you meant. A weak woman would’ve apologized, even though she wasn’t sorry. Like I said, I don’t do weak women. Do you realize how strong a woman has to be to do what I’m asking?”

  Huh. I never thought of it like that.

  He goes on. “It takes a strong woman to let go of her fears and step out of her comfort zone into something that makes her unsure, and even scared. I get you’re an independent woman, and choice goes hand-in-hand with pride, but don’t misunderstand me. A strong woman can also be submissive in bed. It doesn’t make her weak. It makes her stronger than most. Putting your body into the hands of someone else…that takes balls.”

  Both hands move down to my bare butt and palm me. He leans down and whispers, “I know I’m scaring you, but I promise you: you give yourself to me and I’ll make sure you never want sex any other way ever again. Be strong for me, Lexi.” Nipping my ear, I break out in goosebumps. “Give in.”

  And just like that, I’m back on board. And hornier than sin.

  Leaning down to the ground, he picks something up. He says, “Wrap your legs around me,” not a second before he lifts me. I wrap my legs high up on his waist, my arms circle his neck, and he carries me unhurriedly to my room. As soon as we reach the door, he sets me down and my eyes are drawn to the object in his hand.

  His belt.

  His thick, black leather belt.

  My brain screams, “Oh, hell no!” but my heart shushes it. Twitch won’t hurt me. Not after what I went through the other night He wouldn’t.

  Wouldn’t he?

  Holy shit. It just hit me.

  It just hit me that I don’t know this guy. Not even a little bit. I’ve basically let a stranger into my home and begged him to have sex with me. Sure, he saved me, but seriously…

  What in God’s name is wrong with me?

  You need him. You need to know who he is. Why he is. And why he watches you. Admit it, girl. You want him…as much as he wants you.

  Oh, wow. I’m a stupid asshole. I’ll be having words with myself about this later. Right now, I’m distracted. My distraction is in the form of a sexy, tall tattooed man stroking himself, watching me through a hooded gaze.

  Swallowing hard, I lift my face to meet his eyes. His hooded gaze travels down my body in a slow intense stare before making his way back up to my face.

  Our eyes meet. There is a familiar gleam in those warm brown eyes.

  And I know what he wants. And he’s going to get it.

  Walking backwards to my bed, I stop when the frame hits the backs of my knees. Sitting, I push myself back to the middle of my bed, watching Twitch all the while. Lying in the middle of my bed, I extend my arms out at the sides.

  Closing my eyes, I quietly but firmly whisper, “You win. I give in.”

  The belt around my neck makes me feel like an animal on a lead. It’s not too tight, and it’s certainly not cutting off my air, but having something placed around my neck as if I’m a pet…I don’t feel good about it. It’s humiliating.

  Twitch breathes hard into my ear and my pussy clenches, then floods.

  Who knew dry-humping could be so erotic? He’s doing a good job at distracting me from my nasty thoughts.

  As soon as I’d said the words I knew he needed to hear, I heard his footsteps cross the room, and my heart skipped multiple beats.

  I wanted this. I could lie to him. I could lie to everyone. But I couldn’t lie to myself.

  I always wanted to have sex with a stranger. It’s one of my secret fantasies. I hear it’s intense. I was about to find out just how intense.

  Keeping my eyes closed, his hands gripped my hips and I was flipped to my stomach. Face down into my covers, he lifted my hips, elevating my ass, and I almost came right there. Something about a forceful man – a man who knows what he wants and will do what he has to to get it – turns me on something wild. Keeping my eyes closed, I waited for his touch. But before I could grasp what was happening, something came around my neck.

  My life flashed before my eyes.

  And what a sad life it was.

  I have no real accomplishments. No real relationships. No one who would look for me too soon. In short, I suddenly felt pathetic.

  I had escaped my family to get away from a toxic life and here I am, having dangerous sex with a dangerous man. A man who could hurt me in a way I never wanted to be hurt.

  Bringing my thoughts back to what was happening in my bedroom, I opened my mouth and let out a small scream. But my scream was cut short with a firm hand over my mouth. Twitch said a commanding, “No. Don’t.” and I stilled. As if it were a compulsion. He stated gently, “Not gonna hurt you. I just like it. I’ll leave it loose. Not gonna hurt you, Lexi. Not too badly, anyways.”

  A sob tore out of my throat. I didn’t want to be hurt any way!

  …or do I?

  Twitch pressed himself into my back and the length of him settled between the cheeks of my ass. My tears were turning him on. That scared me like nothing else. The belt tightened slightly around my neck as he gently secured it, making sure to leave it loose enough to get a finger on the inside of it. Tears streaked my cheeks. He started to rock into me, leaving me momentarily distracted from my fear. My sobs stopped to be replaced with heavy breathing.

  Which brings us to now.

  Wrapping an arm under my body, he pulls me up while pressing deeper into me. His body warm, his smell surrounding me, all I can think about is how much I want him.

  There’s something animalistic about this man. Something I want to be a part of. Something I want to be included in. He’s a force of nature.

  Moving his head down to me, he presses his cheek to mine and demands, “Lexi, I need you to tell me who this body belongs to tonight.”

  Arousal making my head swim, I answer immediately, “You, Twitch. It’s yours.” His low growl of approval makes my heart flutter and my core weep.

  He toys with me. “You sure? I don’t think you’re all mine tonight. I feel you holding back. There’s still a part of you you’re trying to hold on to. And I don’t like that.”

  Worry churns my gut. I don’t think I am. No. I’m sure I’m not holding back. But I’m not quick enough with my answer, so he repeats himself. “Is this body mine tonight?”

  No hesitation. “Yes.”

  “Mine to do with what I like?”

  Quieter. “Yes.”

  His heavy breathing in my ear makes me wetter than ever. Is there anything sexier than the noises a man makes during sex?

  Moving his body against mine in a slow rhythm, the feel of his cock slipping up and down the cheeks of my ass makes me feel heady. Just as I wonder if he’ll ever fuck me, he whispers into my ear, “Fucking hell, you’re wet. When’s the last time someone touched you?”

  My cheeks flush and I whisper back, “About eight months ago.”

  Nipping my ear, he slides his hand down my stomach to my mound and cups it firmly. “After tonight, you’re not gonna want anyone but me.”

  That’s what I’m afraid of.

  His hand loosens on my most intimate place, and he reaches up to cup my breast. On a squeeze, he orders, “Be still. I want to see you,” then he leans back and away from me.

  So there I am, face down, ass up, with all my modesty gone. Feeling a bit like a horse being inspected for sale, I bite my lip, praying to God that he likes what he sees.

  A moment passes. Then another. And my heart beats so loud I think he might actually hear the rhythm of the hard thumping.

  He doesn’t say a word, and humiliation grips me.

  He doesn’t like what he sees. But still, I stay where I am. Doing as I’m told. Like a show pony.

  My heart shrinks.

  But restarts when his hands come down on my back softly. He moves them lower to my hips, then even lower to my upturned ass. Spreading my ass cheeks, he whispers, “Perfect.”

  And warmth flows through my entire body from scalp to toes.

  Thank God.

  When his thumbs run down the center of my exposed butt, I tense.

  Oh, please God. No. Not there.

  The very tip of his thumb gently passes over my rosebud and I can’t help it. Gripping the sheets tightly, my body becomes stiff, and I almost yell out stop. But I don’t.

  His hand stills on me. The silence is thick. And awkward.

  Then there’s Twitch, always thinking of the big picture. “You don’t want me to do this?” His thumb slides down my ass crack, stilling a moment where it makes me sweat. “I thought we had a deal. That this body was all mine tonight.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. Placing his thumb back where I fear it most, he states, “This body is mine to do with what I want. And if you’re good, I’ll make you come. If you’re bad, I’ll leave you hanging. In saying that, I know you’re going to be a good girl. Because you definitely don’t want to disappoint me. Do you, Lexi?”

  The thought of disappointing Twitch makes my stomach flip…in a bad way.

  “No, Twitch.”